Paton's Pondering: A FB friend wrote a long post and in it he started talking about responsibility. "In Life we can... 1. Displace responsibility -----> Onto others. 2. Embrace responsibility ------> Into ourselves. Embracing responsibility is empowering. Displacing responsibility is disempowering." Now there is a part of me that seems to go: "That's not right..." no matter what you say. Growing up I was taught Debating, which was taking one side and arguing for it regardless of whether or not you agreed. I think more and more that 'Responsibility" is one of those words that 'sage folk' use to explain why shit doesn't work out. Like, if only you had been responsible in your marriage, it would have worked out... Or, you got divorced and you need to take responsibility for your part in it. Maybe you do. And maybe until you do, you will be a broken, depressed shell of a man... Or maybe you don't. Maybe that other person (to broaden the scope a bit) was a 100% responsible and you were in fact the victim. "Victim" is another one of those words that people seem to think lasts forever. You were a victim of a Hit and Run and you will be forever traumatized. You know, maybe, that person on the other side is insane, a psychopath or a criminal. And maybe you were walking down the wrong street at three in the afternoon. Discernment comes from knowing when you are responsible and shurking it, and when you are not and not being guilted by the "Where is your responsibility in this situation"... crowd. Maybe your responsibility is being more aware now when approached by a pretty psychopath, so you know to turn and run the other way. Forty years ago, I dated with woman. My friend kept in touch with her over the years. Our split up was brutal. She did everything she could to get me back. She got married decades ago, had a child and I hoped she found happiness. No contact for 37 years. Out of the blue, she sent a Friend request. I blocked her. I mentioned it to our mutual friend. She had asked him to contact me. He said do it yourself. I can not imagine anything worse (well, I can, but...) than reconnecting with her. I believe we should be considering "Acceptance" more the "Responsibility". The past is the past. Can't do anything. Forgive as much as you can and accept that is the way it was. If it was unpleasant then you make sure you don't get into that situation again. Put responsibility onto the responsible person. That's what I think anyway....

Paton's Pondering: A FB friend wrote a long post and in it he started talking about responsibility. "In Life we can... 1. Displace responsibility -----> Onto others. 2. Embrace responsibility ------> Into ourselves. Embracing responsibility is empowering. Displacing responsibility is disempowering." Now there is a part of me that seems to go: "That's not right..." no matter what you say. Growing up I was taught Debating, which was taking one side and arguing for it regardless of whether or not you agreed. I think more and more that 'Responsibility" is one of those words that 'sage folk' use to explain why shit doesn't work out. Like, if only you had been responsible in your marriage, it would have worked out... Or, you got divorced and you need to take responsibility for your part in it. Maybe you do. And maybe until you do, you will be a broken, depressed shell of a man... Or maybe you don't. Maybe that other person (to broaden the scope a bit) was a 100% responsible and you were in fact the victim. "Victim" is another one of those words that people seem to think lasts forever. You were a victim of a Hit and Run and you will be forever traumatized. You know, maybe, that person on the other side is insane, a psychopath or a criminal. And maybe you were walking down the wrong street at three in the afternoon. Discernment comes from knowing when you are responsible and shurking it, and when you are not and not being guilted by the "Where is your responsibility in this situation"... crowd. Maybe your responsibility is being more aware now when approached by a pretty psychopath, so you know to turn and run the other way. Forty years ago, I dated with woman. My friend kept in touch with her over the years. Our split up was brutal. She did everything she could to get me back. She got married decades ago, had a child and I hoped she found happiness. No contact for 37 years. Out of the blue, she sent a Friend request. I blocked her. I mentioned it to our mutual friend. She had asked him to contact me. He said do it yourself. I can not imagine anything worse (well, I can, but...) than reconnecting with her. I believe we should be considering "Acceptance" more the "Responsibility". The past is the past. Can't do anything. Forgive as much as you can and accept that is the way it was. If it was unpleasant then you make sure you don't get into that situation again. Put responsibility onto the responsible person. That's what I think anyway....
by Scott Paton

January 29, 2018 at 05:02AM
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